Exhaling Fears

She walks to the bathroom mirror, wipes away the steam, and stares at her reflection. Underneath a cascade of copper hair are a pair of clear eyes. Did they always look that translucent? Staring at them almost feels like colliding with the ocean floor without even piercing the surface.

She turns away from the mirror and slides into the warm bath. One deep breath in…and she falls back, letting the water engulf her.

For a moment, she isn’t cramped in a bathtub. She’s deep in an ocean, looking up at a rippling blanket of grey. With thick storm clouds blurring the sun and shattering light onto the water, it’s like she’s drifting through molten metal. If nothingness was music, she’d be consumed by an entire orchestra. And as she moves, the silence swirls around her, as steadfast as the steel that flows through her. Surrendering to the rivers within rivers.

She slowly breathes out…chasing each bubble with her hand. This is her favourite way to smile. Surrounded by a heavy stillness, it’s like it lasts forever. She starts to wonder when she returned. Trying to pinpoint the exact moment she was again looking through the eyes and not at them. I know she won’t find an answer, as surely as I know she already has it. 

And while she sinks deeper, exhaling fears, I remind her that she never left.

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